Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Two Trees I-1

Act I, Scene 1
In a study room, in the library, four students pause from studying for a neuroscience final. One leans back in his chair, perusing something on his BlackBerry. Another brings out a large, leather-bound volume and opens it on the table in front of them.

Nabal: What is that, Abel?

Abel: It's the Authorized Version.

Brian: Of what?

Abel: The Holy Bible, of course. I find that reading it during study breaks helps me concentrate.

Nabal: How can reading that garbage written by goatherds and camel traders help you study? You should get rid of it, it is only going to make you stupider. Right Brain? We scientists trust reason, not superstition.

Brian: I've actually never read it.

Nabal: How about you Stewart, you seem pretty smart, you wouldn't waste time reading the Bible, would you?

Stewart: Huh? Oh, I was reading something. Sorry?

Nabal: Well, Abel here is reading the Bible and Brain and I were telling him he should forget about it. I mean, science has totally disproven everything in that outdated book anyway. People who believe the Bible don't know anything, it's nonscientific.

Abel: The Bible is scientific.

Nabal: Are you kidding?!? The Bible says the earth is only 6000 years old, that the earth is flat, the evolution didn't happen, that the earth is the center of the universe, that virgins can have babies...I mean, c'mon, we are studying neuroscience of all things. We all know that only science proves anything about the world. That Bible is just filling your head with lies and superstitions. I mean...

Stewart: What about history?

Nabal: What?

Brian: I think Stewart is questioning your assertion that only science tells us anything. We've learned a lot from history as well, no?

Abel: That's right. Not only is the Bible scientific, it is historically accurate as well. Did you know that Sir William M. Ramsay originally went to Palestine to disprove the Gospel of Luke and ended up being one of the strongest proponents of its accuracy. Or that they found a stela about a decade ago that talks about King David. And furthermore...

Nabal: That stuff is all made up. These archaeologists find some pottery shards with scratch marks on them and...

Brian: So you don't think history, or archaeology for that matter, are useful or informative?

Nabal: No Brain, I don't, and since you are the smartest one here, neither should you. Only science proves things, all those other disciplines only make guesses.

Abel: I disagree. The Bible should be the standard of truth and everything else should have to agree with it. Did you know that besides being scientifically and historically accurate, the Bible changes lives, it is the best-selling book ever, even a lot of famous scholars read the Bible. Didn't you take MMW Nabal? They make you read the Bible, don't they?

Nabal: Yeah, but they only make you read it to show how contradictory it is. I never did any of the readings anyway...waste of time.

Abel: You've never heard of apologetics, have you Nabal?


1 comment:

  1. HAHAHAHAAH "didn't you take MMW?"

    love the hyperlinks (esp. the "something" he was reading). fun!